So...do you kill insects? It's okay. You can tell the truth. I need your help and your honesty. Why? Well recently I've had a dilemma. I have this wierd desire to not kill insects...even mosquitoes! What?? Mosquitoes? Yes, I'm keeping them alive my friends. I may have even blogged about that at some point. Can't quite remember.........
Anyway so I haven't told you about Walter. He's our resident lime tree spider. He's huge - probably about 2 inches long - white with brown markings. Long gangly legs and always scares the CRAP out of me. I first realized that he became a part of my life when I bumped in to his spider web as I was watering the dying lime tree. I lightly sprayed water towards where I thought the web might be and saw, in amazement, that Walter is a mighty web weaver! I mean, if there could be a Michael Phelps of web weaving, it would be Walter. His web was about 2 feet wide, shimmering and glistening in the sun. It spanned from one dead branch of the lime tree to the next tree which is about a good 5 feet away. Maybe his last name is Phelps. Walter Phelps. Hmm, works for me.
Anyway so as I was studying the beauty of this web, I came across Walter who was busy watching me very carefully and very slowly. Of course I jumped out of my skin when I first caught the glimpse of him. Did I tell you he's huge? My first reaction was to direct the hose directly at him which I did.
Killer. Me.
Survivor. Him.
Yes, he made it. I stopped spraying him. He was holding on tight to the branch and he wasn't letting go. I decided that if he made it through the meteor blast of water, he wasn't going anywhere fast. I left him alone and went back inside to tell Rich about our new friend Walter. To my dismay, my protector of a boyfriend went to find the insect spray. Rich's only problem was that I didn't tell him where Walter was camping out so he didn't know where to spray.
Survivor. Walter.
Friend. Me.
A couple days ago I decided it was time to prune the dying lime tree. I know, that was a funny sentence but the dead branches needed to go. I couldn't find the web and thought that it must have got blown away from the mighty storm last week.
Cut to this morning. Walter is back at it. He's returned to the stubs of the lime tree where the branches used to reside. And he's weaving again. He's ensuring that I haven't forgotten him or his last name. Again, he scared the beebies out of me! I mean I was less than a foot from his gargantuan sized legs when I saw him. I think that I may have yelped. He looked bigger.
This morning I stood looking at him, water hose in hand as I yet again tried to give life to the damn lime tree. I didn't dare tell Walter that the lime tree is coming out in the fall. Don't ask why I'm still watering the thing. The hand that was holding the hose twitched ever so slightly as I contemplated hosing down Walter again. The urge was there but the friend in me took over and so I left him alone. This time, I didn't tease Rich by telling him that Walter was back. Rich would have gone for the insect killer and again wouldn't know where to spray. That's right - I'm not giving out Walter's location. He's safe and secure with me.
So what's the point of this obnxiously long post if you're still reading? Well....what the heck am I doing? I'm feeling sentimental for a spider? It's not even a baby spider, not that baby spiders are cute by any means but perhaps that might make me feel more at peace with my actions as of late. For some reason, I cannot bring myself to kill this spider. I'm feeling challenged. I hear questions such as.....
Anyway so I haven't told you about Walter. He's our resident lime tree spider. He's huge - probably about 2 inches long - white with brown markings. Long gangly legs and always scares the CRAP out of me. I first realized that he became a part of my life when I bumped in to his spider web as I was watering the dying lime tree. I lightly sprayed water towards where I thought the web might be and saw, in amazement, that Walter is a mighty web weaver! I mean, if there could be a Michael Phelps of web weaving, it would be Walter. His web was about 2 feet wide, shimmering and glistening in the sun. It spanned from one dead branch of the lime tree to the next tree which is about a good 5 feet away. Maybe his last name is Phelps. Walter Phelps. Hmm, works for me.
Anyway so as I was studying the beauty of this web, I came across Walter who was busy watching me very carefully and very slowly. Of course I jumped out of my skin when I first caught the glimpse of him. Did I tell you he's huge? My first reaction was to direct the hose directly at him which I did.
Killer. Me.
Survivor. Him.
Yes, he made it. I stopped spraying him. He was holding on tight to the branch and he wasn't letting go. I decided that if he made it through the meteor blast of water, he wasn't going anywhere fast. I left him alone and went back inside to tell Rich about our new friend Walter. To my dismay, my protector of a boyfriend went to find the insect spray. Rich's only problem was that I didn't tell him where Walter was camping out so he didn't know where to spray.
Survivor. Walter.
Friend. Me.
A couple days ago I decided it was time to prune the dying lime tree. I know, that was a funny sentence but the dead branches needed to go. I couldn't find the web and thought that it must have got blown away from the mighty storm last week.
Cut to this morning. Walter is back at it. He's returned to the stubs of the lime tree where the branches used to reside. And he's weaving again. He's ensuring that I haven't forgotten him or his last name. Again, he scared the beebies out of me! I mean I was less than a foot from his gargantuan sized legs when I saw him. I think that I may have yelped. He looked bigger.
This morning I stood looking at him, water hose in hand as I yet again tried to give life to the damn lime tree. I didn't dare tell Walter that the lime tree is coming out in the fall. Don't ask why I'm still watering the thing. The hand that was holding the hose twitched ever so slightly as I contemplated hosing down Walter again. The urge was there but the friend in me took over and so I left him alone. This time, I didn't tease Rich by telling him that Walter was back. Rich would have gone for the insect killer and again wouldn't know where to spray. That's right - I'm not giving out Walter's location. He's safe and secure with me.
So what's the point of this obnxiously long post if you're still reading? Well....what the heck am I doing? I'm feeling sentimental for a spider? It's not even a baby spider, not that baby spiders are cute by any means but perhaps that might make me feel more at peace with my actions as of late. For some reason, I cannot bring myself to kill this spider. I'm feeling challenged. I hear questions such as.....
Why?
Why kill the spider?
What did he do to you?
What will he do to you?
Isn't he just minding his own business?
I swear, I hear somebody's voice in my head asking me these questions in very quick succession. Maybe it's Grampa Phelps...who knows? But Walter is lucky. Very lucky that I am succumbing to this excruciatingly annoying voice in my head. So until I hear some rational advice or the killer in me creeps back I guess that Walter will live and continue to make me jump first thing in the morning as he leers his beady eyes at me.
Spider. Him.
Insect protector. Me.
I swear, I hear somebody's voice in my head asking me these questions in very quick succession. Maybe it's Grampa Phelps...who knows? But Walter is lucky. Very lucky that I am succumbing to this excruciatingly annoying voice in my head. So until I hear some rational advice or the killer in me creeps back I guess that Walter will live and continue to make me jump first thing in the morning as he leers his beady eyes at me.
Spider. Him.
Insect protector. Me.
6 comments:
I now know where Walter is!
I will, however, leave him alone for now....
Rich
Too funny K! The only insects that really bother me are cockroaches as you well know! :)
Rich never reads my blog. Fancy him to pick today to read it! Ohhhh Walter...I will try my best to protect you!
Mo - I'm not sure that I could keep a cockroach alive. That's one that would make me literally jump up on a chair and hold up my skirt in true 60's style.
Now Rich will start reading your blog all the time :) LOL
that was your best-written post yet.
Thank you! I was so in the groove of writing - nothing could have stopped me. The words came so easily. It's not often that I have those nights!
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