Twisted

No, no....not my mind....my Spine! (Note - near rhyme alert..."mind/spine". Oh hush...it's close enough).

Did you know that I have a really wierd Spine? No? Oh well grab a chair (unless you're already planted on one) and draw closer to hear my twisted tale (pun intended). Twisted tail? Haha - that was awesome! Tail! Come on....tail? Like spine? Got it? My humor is awesome.

Ok, so take yourself back to April of 1994. I know. It hurts. It was a while ago. It'll be okay. I was a bright shiney 14 year old covered in spots, big thick glasses and hairy legs. Ok, maybe not so the latter but I was 14 years old and finding my awkward self with wierd HIP pain. Ring a bell? My Mum took me to the Dubai London Clinic to get it checked out. From what I remember (and granted my memory is pierced with holes so this might be slightly inaccurate) my Mum and I walked in to the exam room and waited for the Doc. In came big fiesty Doc who had the bedside manner of a kangaroo - beady eyed, jumpy and likely to punch. He just wasn't a nice man. I explained to him what was going on and he immediately swang around me. I felt his grubby fingers scaling my spine.

"Take your clothes off".
"Ummm, what?" - keep in mind that I was a very awkward 14 years old.
"Just strip down to your panties".
I remember looking at my Mum with a pleading face. Really Mum? Really, do I have to? Can't you stop him? My sweet Mum looked back at me with a face that said Just Do It. Yup Nike did steal that one from her.

Sigh.

Now mostly naked in front of Kangaroo Doc, I felt the same grubby fingers up and down my naked spine, my shoulders and across my hips. It didn't take long. Within 2-3 minutes he hurried away to his desk and scribbled fast as he could leaving me still standing mostly naked in the middle of the room. I now looked at my Mum pleading her with my eyes to let me put my clothes back on. Her eyes replied by saying Not So Fast. USPS did not steal that one from her.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity (probably like a minute or so) Kangaroo Doc instructed me to put my clothes back on. With much confidence he concluded that I had Scoliosis and ordered X-Rays. Enter Exhibit A.

Now isn't that a beauty? This is from 1994. While the right should be my left and vice versa (in medical language) this is flipped. So this view is if you're actually standing behind me looking at my spine. The top half veers heavily to the left. The bottom half veers heavily to the right. Please note that difference in space between my ribs on the left and then on the right side. And to make sure that I out-did everybody else my spine decided to twist itself (like when you twist a water bottle with two hands) and the bottom tip of my spine sticks out giving me a wierd bum shape. Although I ain't no J-Lo I see my bum as special. Very special.

So anyway, there it is folks. Spine - say hello to your new found fame. Bloggies, say hello to my Twisted Spine!

Over the years I haven't really got my Spine checked on. I haven't had any pain from it and when I saw a specialist a couple years after the first diagnosis, the specialist said to go have fun with life and not worry about it. Boy did I love that advice! And he was right, I've been pain free for 14 years. But now that this hip pain is back and has made itself clear that it's not going anywhere, I need to go back to a specialist.

Am I nervous? Yes. Am I procrastinating? Yes. Is my PCP on my ass to go to a specialist? Yes. Am I afraid that they will tell me to forget Christina Aguilera and tap dancing? Yes. Am I fearful that I won't be able to keep up with my fiance when he wants to go hiking or traveling around the world and then he'll get frustrated and dump me and my twisted spine? Yes. Although totally irrational, they are still fears. Fears that have kept me from getting in with a specialist and propeled me to become best friends with Celebrex.

So as I have said every day since I saw my PCP "I will make that appointment tomorrow, I promise!". Yeah right - that's what I've said for over a month. I have to remember that it is better to know about this stupid hip thing than to stay in the dark. And I know that that is true. It's just that the irrational side of me takes over most of the time instead of the rational side. And I have to remember that I'm not getting any younger (well hello greying hair!) and that I need to get this stuff taken care of now rather than waiting.

Sigh. Anyway, this was actually supposed to be a whimsical funny post but it ended up getting a bit serious. Probably because I'm realizing that I'm wasting time just thinking about it and blogging about it and not making that damn appointment.
So....tomorrow. Tomorrow I will make that appointment. I will see a spine specialist. I will be a responsible adult. I will get it done.

And ps - I don't say this frequently but nagging is most welcome (and needed).